I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
