i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
