I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize