Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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