apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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