New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize