i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
