This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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