there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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