I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
