you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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