Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
