I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
