the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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