I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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