At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
