there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
