someone get that fucking seahorse.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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