Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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