yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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