Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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