so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
