Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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