oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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