he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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