my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
third nipple confirmed
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
