Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
