She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
