If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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