I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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