I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
