Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
