I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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