Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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