I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
