she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize