Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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