if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
