I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
