The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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