How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
smell my finger.
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Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
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Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize