I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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