You're completely useless in the revolution.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
