I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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