She's JV to your varsity
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
