We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
