8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
