my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i think i have herpe
just one?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
