Your mouth is God's brothel.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
