I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
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I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
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I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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