How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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