Non-Jews are for practice
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
