But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
