your thong is hanging out like whoa
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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