Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My bed smells like the plague
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
