So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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