Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize