I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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