as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
