The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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