I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
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Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
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Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
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