It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize