Having a random hookup so left but love u
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
