Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize