Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
