I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize