he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
