He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
